Silence
by JCCx
Summary: It was surprising how silence could be so loud. My families thoughts came in tidal waves, they felt like daggers ripping and tearing away at my insides. Please review and thanks again to the wonderful WishMyBloodSang! JCCx
1. Edward

_Hi! I had time to spare and had this idea! It is in Edwards POV and is after Bella's birthday. It is really short but I hope it is ok! JCCx_

It was surprising how silence could be so loud. My families thoughts came in tidal waves, they felt like daggers ripping and tearing away at my insides. The events of the last few days played back in my mind, as I fought to surface the black water that surrounded me. I felt like I was drowning, swirling in pictures of Bella injured by my hands and the intoxicating scent of the warm red liquid that flowed freely from her veins. I had expected, even prepared for dangers to unfold in our uncharacteristic lives, but never from my own family.

What was I thinking? Why was I so relaxed with my love to be in a house of vampires? Our 'instincts' could control us at anytime and as Bella was such a danger magnet it was like walking into a war zone. True, my family had pretty much mastered control but that doesn't mean we don't crave what we can't have. We could slip at any moment and some of us had. Even the strongest, bravest and compassionate of us can't control the beast that rages within ourselves. It squirms and screams until it breaks free of its confines and posses our lifeless bodies. I had succumbed to its will and left my conscience behind for a time. I killed people. Why was I any different from James or Victoria? They had hurt Bella and now I had done the same.

I couldn't go on risking Bella's life, she was too important. I couldn't balance us on a cliff and hope the fall wouldn't kill her. I couldn't cross my fingers and pray to be lucky. I could not risk Bella, but I was terrified to live with out her. She was my life. I had nothing else to live for; I lived and breathed for Bella. My throat constricted and my stomach tied into sickening knots. What would I do? Where would I go? I couldn't stay here, and neither could my family. Bella deserved to live without reminders and to do that we had to be forgotten. As much as it pained me to be erased from my loves memory, it was necessary. At least that is what I tried to tell myself.

"Edward you will not do that!" Alice snarled taking an angry pose, after no doubt seeing the future.

"I have to." I replied trying not to let the pain and despair consume me.

"Edward you really don't! You have a choice, choose the right one!" She begged.

"What is going on?" Emmett asked from the couch in the living room. He was sat next to Jasper, who had in his hands and was disgusted by his thoughts of drinking Bella's blood. He felt dejection and apprehension and most of all guilt. Bella was a sister to him and he had done everything in his power to not hurt her. Just one drop of blood destroyed everything. He was slowly breathing in the overpowering smell of bleach to clear his head. Taming the beast.

I had no other choice.

"We are leaving." I said, and with that shattered my world.

_How was it? Should I do it from Jaspers POV as well? JCCx_


	2. Jasper

_Hi! My life is still being ruled by math and I homework. It is taking me ages to get any chapters out and I'm really sorry! I hope this is Ok! JCCx _

The slit in her skin leaked blood and sent all rational thoughts soaring from my head. My instincts took over and I could no longer stop myself from lunging to the source of the liquid. I could no longer feel others emotions only my own lust and craving. I crouched down and sprung towards my target but was met by empty space.

The scent of blood intensified and the animal reared, I wanted to taste that irresistible banquet, feel it sliding down my throat. I was the hunter stalking my prey. I was a shark with the taste of blood in its mouth. The burning in my throat was getting unbearable and _its' _bloodwas the only way to make it go away. I was about to attack again when I was grabbed by two steal arms; locking mine behind my back. I fought, struggled and thrashed against the grasp but it won and dragged me into the cold night air. The smell of the forest and rain collided with me. The person dragged me away from the house and into the forest. The person threw me to the ground.

"Do you have any idea what you could have just done?" The person I now recognized as Emmett bellowed.

"You could have killed her! That is Bella! She is just as much a part of this family as you! You have to fight it Jasper! Bella is kind, sweet, funny and look how she has changed this family. We all love her and you could have just taken her away from us!" He carried on shouting until Rosalie wrapped her arms around his waste.

"Emmett, take a deep breath, everything is fine." She whispered to him. He instantly relaxed and turned his back on me. Esme didn't move she just stood looking of into the forest.

It was times like this I hated my ability. My emotions were a cocktail of guilt, regret, fear, sadness, desperation, disgust and anger. My families' emotions added to this sickening blend and then added additions; I felt Alice's never ending undeserving love for me, Edward's inner turmoil, Rosalie's smugness, Emmett's shock, Esme's self disgust, Carlisle's concentration and Bella's guilt and worry.

The latter startled me most; Bella had absolutely no reason to feel guilty, I was the one that nearly killed her. My god, I nearly killed Bella! She was like a sister to Alice and not to mention the reason Edward smiles and is filled with happiness. I came so close to taking that away from him and I also loved Bella, I just couldn't come close enough to show it. I was also surprised that she didn't feel scared. Would she be scared of me from now on? I didn't want her to; she was a member of our family and should feel safe with us. But how could she or how could _we_ feel safe with ourselves around her when I just proved how unstable _I_ was. I would have to leave. It was the only way to keep her safe and my family happy.

"Emmett … can you give us a minute please." Edward said from Emmett's side. I could feel no anger coming from my brother and this worried me. I wanted him to be angry with me, I wanted him to scream and hit me if necessary, do anything but go back to being his withdrawn past.

"Edward how are you feeling?" Esme asked placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"I'm fine Esme I just need to talk to Jasper." He said trying to comfort her but I could feel his growing emptiness.

"Alright, Rose, Emmett lets go for a walk." Esme said looking straight into Edwards blank eyes. They all left me and descended into the forest.

"Jasper I…" Edward said

"Is Bella alright?" I cut in, if Bella was hurt that was a lot more important.

"She has glass in her arms from me throwing her into the plates but Carlisle is fixing it. She is having stitches at the moment and will have to take some pain killers. She doesn't seem to be in shock and she hasn't thrown up at the sight of the blood so I don't know whether to be worried or glad. Alice is still in there with her but I think she will be coming out soon. She has pretty much mastered control but she doubts herself and she wants to make sure you are ok. She sent me out here to talk to you. So…"

"Edward I am so sorry! I lost control and I couldn't stop myself! I could have destroyed everything. Does Bella hate me, or is she afraid of me, I don't want her to be. I'm sorry I ruined her birthday and it was going to be so special."

"Jasper you are rambling, Bella doesn't hate you and she isn't afraid of you either. You know her, kind and brave. You shouldn't be apologizing to me anyway!" He said.

"I can't face her at the moment and I'm defiantly not going back into the house till the blood has gone, can you tell her I am so sorry." I pleaded.

"Jasper she already knows." Edward reassured me. I didn't deserve to be in this family. I should be on my own like every other vampire like me. I should hide in the dark and mourn the life I had with the Cullen's.

"Jasper you aren't going anywhere." Edward warned. His feelings kept changing but I could tell he was making a decision and he didn't like doing it.

"Edward what are you deciding?"

"I'll see you later. I'm taking Bella home once she is finished with Carlisle. Alice will be out to see you soon." Edward said walking back towards the house. I was left alone in the eerie silence to reminisce on what I had caused.

_Thanks for reading, please review! JCCx_


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